If He DOESN'T VALUE YOU, Do This To Get Him To CHANGE! | Matthew Hussey (2023)


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I post new dating advice for women every Sunday.

This really bothers me, so maybe you can help…

Why do so many women allow guys to get away with treating them so carelessly??

Is it because she’s scared of losing him? Or she’s worried he’ll get annoyed if she’s too honest about her feelings?

If you’ve ever been one of those women who is always waiting for him to change his behavior, this video will transform your relationships with men forever...

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I want to talk today about why he treats you casually.

One simple answer is because you let him we can't stop people behaving badly, but we can decide how we react when they behave badly or when they treat us as lower value than we really are.

In that moment, we get to make a decision about whether to stay or to go, whether to say something or be passive, and if somebody is continuing to treat us badly every day we can week out is because we are allowing them to do so now.

The question is: why do we allow someone to do that? What is it in us that allows someone to keep doing that behavior over and over? One reason we might give is because we really like someone or love them when we really love someone we want to be with them, so we'll try and justify their behavior we'll make excuses for it so that we can still be with them.

But of course this comes down to a deeper thing: -.

If our self-worth is so low that we don't think we're worth more than what they're giving us, we will find a way to stay, because leaving is too scary.

Finding somebody else is too scary.

So what now is created in our mind is what's called cognitive, dissonance, the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions, an attitude change.

What does this mean in this context? A guy can be doing to you, something that if he was doing it to your friend, you would tell her to leave in a heartbeat, but because it's you, you don't take the same advice and knowing that you're not taking the same advice, you would give somebody else.

You need to find a special reason, special, unique circumstances.

Why you're staying we say? Well, it's because he's really busy or it's because he has a really important job and he has to focus on that or it's because of his upbringing or if you're, particularly good.

At these mental gymnastics.

You'll say it's because you're particularly understanding and you have a kindness in you that can forgive the things he's doing see, we'll find all sorts of ways to justify the situation we're in instead of being honest with ourselves and saying, if I, valued myself, more I would have gone by now, at the very least, I would have had much more frank and honest conversations with this person so that they know my worth too, because of course somebody takes their cue from us.

If we don't put a high value on ourselves, they don't put a high value on us either and, of course, in a relationship when we're not communicating honestly about what we don't like and allowing someone to see the repercussions of them not treating us with enough respect, they don't feel any incentive to change, so they keep doing the same behaviors or the behaviors get worse.

They keep pushing the boundaries to see what they can get away with now.

What happens is eventually he does something so bad.

He lies about something so big or he cheats or he does something so deeply.

Disrespectful that your cognitive dissonance won't even allow it anymore.

You can't reconcile the idea that you are a mentally stable person and would still allow this behavior to go on.

So at that point you leave you reach a pain threshold and you leave.

The danger is at the point of leaving if your self-worth continues to go down, maybe because you look at how long you were in that relationship and you feel stupid for staying in it so long or you feel like you've wasted so much time and the self-loathing that comes with that, maybe because you're on your own now and you don't even feel the significance of having someone in your life and that leads you with time and distance to start thinking.

Maybe he wasn't so bad, maybe I can't do better.

Maybe I deserve that bad treatment because of how much time I have wasted and because I haven't treated myself well enough.

So it creates this feedback loop where all of these things play into your low-value, and that then allows you to either go back to him again or find somebody else who treats you equally as bad, and we get into these repetitive cycles, of having the same behavior over and over again to put up with.

So how do you break this cycle.

Well you break this cycle, by paying attention to your instincts early on.

In the relationship or if you've been in the relationship for years paying attention to the instincts you've had all along and what do I mean by instincts I mean the moments where you feel like something isn't right not talking about nitpicking in a relation I'm talking about the moments where fundamentally, this person isn't treating you the way that you want there's a simple test for this.

When you think about your ideal partner.

The man you want to spend the rest of your life with and how he treats you the level of worth the level of value he places on.

You is the person in front of you giving you that or are they valuing you less than your ideal partner? Would see it's not enough to have instincts? Many of us have these gut feelings that were in the wrong place that we're making the wrong decisions that we shouldn't be with this person, but we don't act on them.

We continuously act against our instincts, so when people say trust your gut they're only talking about half of the puzzle, the other half is actually being able to act on.

Your gut is having the strength and the courage and self-worth to do what you know you should do, and the irony is, of course, that many of us, when our self-worth is low, we begin to trust our instincts less.

So even our instincts don't give us clear signs anymore, because we haven't got the trust in ourselves to make the right decision.

The reason I created my retreat program is to solve this problem, to transform people's sense of self-worth once and for all, so that not only did it clarify their instincts.

Not only did they begin to trust their instincts more, but when they had that gut feeling, they actually had the power to act on it.

That's how we level up in life.

We do things that are frightening.

We do things that are scary, because we know they're the right thing to do.

We know that they are going to improve our quality of life, even if right now they're difficult, but when our self-worth is low, we will never make those decisions and we can waste years of our lives deliberating debating not acting on what we know, because we don't feel good enough.

Here's the reality, I love speaking to you in my videos every week.

It's a joy to have this conversation with you and to be part of this journey with you, but I also know that what I do on that program over five days gets to people at a depth that I cannot do here.

Those of you that know on some level my self-worth isn't changing on its own and I need to do something to level up.

My life.

I cannot waste years more I want you to apply for this.

All you need to do is click the link.

It's Matthew, Hussey, retreat comm tell us why you think you might be a great fit and will tell you whether we think the program's a great fit for you.

If it's not no worries, but if it is, it might be the thing that changes everything you.


What to do when he doesn t value you? ›

If you feel disrespected, ask yourself if you really want to be with him. If you do, then you have to talk to him and tell him that such behavior is unacceptable. In other words: Tell him you're giving him another chance but if you don't get the respect that you deserve, he can hit the road.

How do you make a guy value you? ›

13 Ways To Make Him Realize Your Worth
  1. Keep yourself busy.
  2. To make him realize your worth, stop texting and calling him.
  3. Forget to do some of his chores.
  4. Express your feelings through your actions.
  5. Stop being a pushover.
  6. Go out with your friends.
  7. Pamper yourself.
  8. Start saying no.

How to make someone lose feelings for you without hurting them? ›

How to Break Up With Someone Without Hurting Them
  1. Before you have the conversation, ask yourself why you're not satisfied. ...
  2. Don't drag it out. ...
  3. Remember to be kind in the moment. ...
  4. Avoid focusing on what you think they did wrong. ...
  5. Be direct. ...
  6. Skip clichés like "it's not you, it's me." ...
  7. Finally, steer clear of false promises.
Jun 10, 2019

How do you tell if a man is using you for convenience? ›

20 Signs He's Using You
  • He closes himself off. He doesn't open up to you. ...
  • Your conversations are lackluster. Save. ...
  • He doesn't care about how you feel. ...
  • You haven't met anyone he knows. ...
  • He has issues discussing commitment. ...
  • He expects too many favors. ...
  • He is reluctant to compromise. ...
  • He is selfish in the bedroom.
Jun 19, 2023

What to do when your partner doesn't feel valued? ›

Do they say they feel unappreciated? Find ways to share that you love them and that your other connections do not subvert your love for them. Openly appreciate their vulnerability and honesty rather than express exasperation or resentment. This keeps your relationship safe and communicative.

How to be high value when he ignores you? ›

Feeling Ignored? What to Do When He Ignores You
  1. Call out the behavior. ...
  2. Try other forms of communicating. ...
  3. Give him permission to dump you. ...
  4. Embrace vulnerability. ...
  5. Assert yourself early on. ...
  6. Don't overcompensate by texting/calling too much. ...
  7. Leave him for a few days.
Apr 3, 2018

How do you make someone realize their worth? ›

7 Ways To Help Others See Their Worth
  1. Take notes when others speak. ...
  2. Refer to a comment that the person made earlier in the conversation. ...
  3. If a person doesn't finish a thought, ask him or her to pick it up again. ...
  4. Related: Small Talk Is the Worst. ...
  5. Use the person's name — judiciously.
Aug 20, 2015

How to make him realize he hurt you? ›

20 Proven Ways To Make Him Feel Guilty For Hurting You
  1. Describe the impact of his actions on your mental health.
  2. Confront him directly.
  3. Use “I” statements.
  4. Don't let him off the hook too easily.
  5. Don't let him gaslight you or make you doubt your feelings.
  6. Don't let him minimize the hurt he caused you.
Feb 8, 2023

What is the 3 day rule after an argument? ›

"The three day rule is when one partner is waiting for the other to reach out first after a disagreement or an argument," says Coach Braker. "The challenge is that if they don't reach out within three days, the assumption is that the partner doesn't care, so [they] should break up and end the relationship."

Does absence make a man miss you? ›

But, if you aren't with him all the time, then it can be easy to reignite that desire and make him think about you. Missing a woman when she is absent is something almost every man does. It's because their masculine energy is just wired to want to chase, especially if he likes you already.

What he thinks when you don t contact him? ›

He'll wonder if you miss him at all.

He might even go so far as to think you're already seeing someone else if he can't get in touch or see you on social media. This is a very uncomfortable time for him. He's struggling to understand why you're not responding to his texts, or what you might be feeling in return.

What will make him lose interest? ›

  • 9 Reasons Why Men Lose Interest & What You Can Do About It. ...
  • Something weird happened. ...
  • The guy was only so interested to begin with. ...
  • You flipped the chase. ...
  • He found a supposedly better deal. ...
  • There was something funny about the sex. ...
  • He kinda forgot how cool you were. ...
  • You had incompatible attachment styles.

How do I know if he just used me? ›

There are signs that your partner might not be emotionally invested in your relationship like he does not talk about or resolve issues, avoids physical contact, forgets important dates or promises, is not there for you when you need him, and is always busy even when you are next to him.

How do you tell if he wants to end things? ›

10 Signs Your Partner Probably Wants To Break Up With You
  • They avoid you. Tumblr. ...
  • They've stopped talking about a future with you. ...
  • They've stopped making an effort. ...
  • They put their friends first. ...
  • You're no longer intimate with each other. ...
  • They're being secretive. ...
  • They threaten to leave you. ...
  • They pick fights with you.
Mar 29, 2016

How do you forget a man who doesn't value you? ›

Things You Should Know
  1. Give yourself time to grieve; pain is normal. ...
  2. Distract yourself from what happened and avoid contact with the other person. ...
  3. Talk to people you trust and strengthen your support system. ...
  4. Recognize when you're ready to move on and get back out there to meet new people.

How do you stop caring about someone who doesn't value you? ›

12 ways to stop caring about someone who doesn't care about you
  1. Focus On Your Friends And Family. ...
  2. Accept What You Feel. ...
  3. Get Advice Specific To Your Situation. ...
  4. Give Yourself The Respect That You Deserve. ...
  5. Find A Healthy Outlet To Express Yourself. ...
  6. Put Yourself First. ...
  7. Learn From Your Experience. ...
  8. Cut Your Ties With Them.

How to accept he doesn t want you? ›

  1. Listen to music that lets you feel your feelings.
  2. Exercise. It helps to clear your mind and you will be healthier.
  3. Write in a diary if you have one.
  4. Write a letter to him if you want. ...
  5. Go on some long walks by yourself. ...
  6. Know when to stop. ...
  7. Consult a therapist if you can't get back into your normal life.

What does it mean when a person doesn't value you? ›

Certain signs that someone may not value you or your relationship are easy to spot. A common one is not asking you about your feelings, life, or what's important to you. This can look different depending on the relationship. They may not check in to hear your ideas on certain projects at work, for example.

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